Sunday, September 27, 2009

Weekend Festivities and Broken Teeth


I must say my first real Saturday in Burlington was a rather interesting one. It all started waking up around 11 and being a bum for a while, which means sitting on the couch watching TV sports until I decided it was time to do some shopping.

Enter Wiliston Walmart..... Now Matt aka Perks(which is what he will be referred to from here on out) says as we shut the doors to my car....

Perks:"Have you ever been to the Waterbury Walmart?"
Me: "Yeah, it's a real shit hole."
Perks: "Hahah, you are in for a treat today my friend."

As I walked through the sliding doors I'm greeted by a Ninja, which Perks later tells me that some sort of refugees have taken root in upper Vermont from their crazy government, but I still like to think they look like Ninjas with their colorful kung-fu looking get ups. About ten more steps in I pass by a woman with a gnarly ass mullet, and i mean like Achy Breaky Heart style mullet, lines shaved into the sides and everything. All kinds of characters in this joint man, everywhere I looked I was greeted by gap tooth smiles and overalls. I really thought I had stepped into a new dimension, yet it seems this is the norm up here.

All right, so onto the shopping. This Walmart has the smallest fucking isles I have ever walked down. Now imagine being confined into these tiny little isles with the rest of Vermont's finest..... Needless to say I decided to call it after about 20 minutes, and ended up getting about half of the items I intended to get. One of those being the new Orbit Mist gum, but we'll get back to that shit in a few.

So we leave and Perks tells me we have to be at Nectar's at 4pm. Little did I know, the bar Nectars serves chicken wings, and when the Yanks play the Socks the wings are free. Yes I said free wings. I mean the only thing better than free wings is 2.00 Vermont drafts. Well guess what, free wings and 2.00 Long Trails, Otter Creeks, and Magic Hat #9's. Man that was an awesome four hours of my life, not to mention that the Yanks won which made the day even better. Well while we were enjoying a few cold ones, and a few hot ones, a friend of ours mentions that there is a small beer pong happening at a basement near us and that we should stop over. So we head home real quick, get fresh and roll out.

Perks and I start first on the table and I'm cold, I can't hit a cup to save my life meanwhile so I tell Perks to let me drink the first three cups the other team makes. Well whattaya know? I drain my next seven shots in a row and the last cup. We go on to take the next three teams out and lose our final game on the last cup, because Perks couldn't hit the broad side of a barn by then. No big deal, we made a name for ourselves and our showing was more than dominant. Well we called a cab around 10:30 and were on our way downtown by 10:45. (Be smart kiddies, don't drink and drive, drink and let someone else drive for you)

Well we arrive downtown Burlington and we head to RiRa's (one of the finer local watering holes mixed with drunk college chicks and weird dudes with cassette players in their pockets jamming out while a live band is playing) and I'm feeling warmed up already so we grab a few beers. Perks gets hit on by a pretty chick, and he just lets her walk away so I try to lecture him on capturing every opportunity and he says shut up don't worry. Well, for some reason I decide that I need to pop in a piece of that new Orbit gum, while drinking beer, god only knows why, but I did. So I'm chewin gum, drinkin beer, chewin gum and all the sudden there is something hard and crunchy in my gum. I'm all like wtf? I spit the gum into my hand and....

Me: "Oh shit, my tooth just broke"
Perks: "Really? Wtf? You cool?"
Josh: "Now thats pretty strange, why are you chewing gum while drinking beer?"
Me: "I dunno, I need another beer though."

Flash forward an hour or so and we've drank our fair share of beers and we decide to meander on into RedSquare. For those of you who aren't from Burlington, RedSquare is where the cool trendy kids go, people in tuxedos and shit, girls in prom dresses and what not, yeah that kinda place. So the crowd sucks, my money is nearing it's end and I'm bored out of my mind. So I decide to walk outside and see whats going on with the general public.... So I walk outside and it's raining, so rather than interact with all the street lurkers, I turn tail to head back inside and the bouncer is like sorry dude, you gotta get back in line. I've got to get back in line? I paid your cover and you wrote a GIGANTIC R on my hand, and now I've got to stand in line to get back in this bitch? Not happening.

So I stumble over to the shish kabab stand because it smelled awesome and had an awning I could stand under. Oh did I mention a hot chick works there? Yeah a hot chick serving meat on a stick, sounds like another win win situation. So we banter back and forth and I swear I'm ordering a taco (yeah I'm a few beers deep now) and all the sudden Perks walks up from behind and is like dude what are you doing? And of course I tell him how I'm getting a taco blah blah blah and he's like man lets get outta here it's raining and it's like 1:30. I agree, but for some reason we went back into RiRa's, I think he had to hit the head or something and thats where the rest of the night is lost. I know we took a cab home, and I know for some reason I have no money left. When both Josh and Matt wake up I question them on the rest of the evening's activities and no one can seem to recall them. A good night indeed.

Back to the tooth. Man this shit sucks. It's razor sharp and is digging into the side of my tongue (wow I thought it was spelled tounge, but firefox is telling me differently) so I decide to mess with it and i manage to break the small jagged part off, relieving a little bit of my pain, but not all of it. Then I somehow remembered I think it was my dad having a broken tooth and filing it down, so I decide that's what I'm going to do. Apparently I'm crazy because both Josh and Perks looked at me sideways, but I decided to just power through it. So now I'm sitting on the couch, with a nail file in my mouth slowly grinding the sharp jagged edge of this tooth down to a smooth stub. Dental kicks in Oct 1st, which can't come soon enough.

All in all an awesome weekend, BluePrint 3 and Only Built for Cuban Links 2 two new cd's I picked up, and man are they sick.

Tell next time suckas, chew on this.

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