Monday, September 28, 2009

Corporate Downsizing


Today I heard a sad story.

A person who I don't know, yet went out and drank a few beers for tonight is getting his job downsized. I don't even remember his name, but I feel bad for this dude. I asked him what he was planning on doing, and he mentioned something about moving to the Yukon or something and delivering milk. I almost chuckled...... until I realized this guy was dead fucking serious. I'm happy for him, I'm sure there is nothing more liberating than delivering a healthy dose of Vitamin D to the locals. I think they use dogsleds up there to get places, so I'm sure it must be pretty fucking cool.

A few more things. (I've had a few beers so if i mis-spell shit don't get all grammar natzi on me ok? Thanks.) So since day one of training the guy who sits ahead of me and myself (it makes sense to me right now so go with it) have watched the gigantic ass spider that sits outside of our window kill everything in sight. We decided that the only fitting name for him would be Killer. Killer kills shit and that's the end of the story. Well last week it rained out, and we noticed there was another spider on the block, which is like twice as big as killer, so naturally we named this one beast. Beast trumps killer. Well after said rainstorm beast was no where to be found, this was like last fucking thursday(why is mozilla telling me thursday is spelled wrong?)or some shit, but Josh was like seriously distrought. Like seriously. Well today the clouds started to form over the DDC and Josh got all googly eyed and excited hoping for a re-appearance of beast. The trainer who was showing us how to do our jobs was going on about something important and all the sudden I get chatted.

Me: "Awesome thats a big bitch, I'm gonna squish it."
Josh: /sadface

Ugh going back and reading that it's not very funny, but it happened today so whatever. Today was the most in-depth day of training yet. It was pretty fucking sweet, I felt kinda at home working the various different programs we'll be using on a daily basis........... Until I decided I'd follow along with the instructor who was handling a real time ticket. He puts the ticket through real time talks about it for a few, and I was like.....

Me: Uh........ dude I think I just duplicated what you were doing.

Trainer: (I'm not gonna use his name right now because I don't know how he'd feel about it so just fucking go with me) Lol, I don't think you can, you are on a demo account, don't worry bout it.

Josh: (who's better than I am right now and that pisses me off) you can't dude I already tried it.

Me: Uh... well it says right here that the process went through.

Trainer: No way lemme check it out.
(a minute goes by and I'm uncomfortable)
Trainer: Well holy shit, it looks like you did do it real time. Isn't that something.
(now it's getting hot in here because I think I fucked up royal)
Trainer: Don't worry bout it I'm sure we can fix it. Lets keep moving.
(wow seriously? I just fucked something up and it's no big deal?)

Ten minutes later trainer goes for a walk and i get this...

Perks: So I heard you are fucking shit up already?
Me: Hah, um what happens in training stays in training?
Perks: lol

Thats how it went, I don't remember much more but I think it was kinda cool how it was no big deal, at my old job people would be jumping down my throat bitching about something that could be fixed and was no big deal, but in CT people love to bitch.

Also today we took a quiz, and how come it's like every single time I don't know the answer to a question I get called on? Seriously this quiz had 14 questions on it and there was one answer I didn't know, and lo and behold, Trainer guy(who i think needs to be named Bicycle Rager because this dude seriously gets gnarly on his mountain bike) call on me for number four. DAMN IT WHY? I hate feeling stupid, and any other of the 13 questions I could have answered correctly but stupid question four.... I hate you. What a mixed day of emotions.

Oh one last note, last night Perks decided to flip the box that the Notorious G E R T sits in upside down. Josh renamed it the Fortress of Gertitude. Which I think is fucking awesome. Mom if you are reading this sorry I swore so much.

Oh yeah peep this

Thats Gert, in her fortress. Don't fuck with her because she hates you.

A few late edits. I had to switch around the brains behind the box flip and the Fort naming, because I had them in reverse order. Also I feel I need to clarify that there are two people named Josh. One is the roomate(why is mozilla telling me this is spelled wrong too? WTF?) and the other is in training with me.

So yeah training Josh and I play pingpong/basketball on our breaks. Today he swept me and made me his bitch in pingpong. I don't even want to discuss the final scores. Two of the games I didn't break the double digits, but I am working on my game as we speak. Brainstorming on how to fend off his angry serves. I did have a 3 second Asian moment today, a scathing backhand return that hit the table so hard and so fast the ball exploded and left a burn mark. Even Josh was like wow dude, that was pretty sweet like a mini firework. I then spent the rest of the game trying to duplicate those three seconds, which I failed miserably. But for three seconds today I was at the top of Mount Fucking Awesome. (A place I frequent.) I am starting to like the taste of LongTrails and Magic Hat #9's, which is sweet because thats all everyone drinks up here. I did however try a Switchback today, which the milkman kindly described as having a nutty flavor......which turned me off right away, who wants a beer that tastes like nuts?

Shit I need to accomplish soon: Go back home and move stuff out of my old apartment, make a dentists appointment, go to Jeremy's wedding in Bahston, pass my test on friday, laundry, buy a new pair of jeans (I am picky like a girl when it comes to jeans) and also ride a unicorn in a wizard hat and cape to work.

I also use wayyyyyyyyyy too many commas, whatever.

1 comment:

  1. great pics jor~gert looks like pure evil in her fortress...lenny just walked by with his dog~sounds like you are having a good week so far yes one to many F bombs!
    gramps said you called~ good~
    talk to you soon
    x's & o's


What do you think?