Thursday, December 10, 2009

Well hello there.....

Well hello there,
my it's been a long longgggg time,
and how am I doin?
Oh I guess that I'm doin fine,
it's been so long now,
but it seems now,
that it was only yesterday,
gee ain't it funny, how time slips away.....

- Willie Nelson

Well hello everyone! How are things? It really has been quite sometime, but I guess I have procrastinated enough, it's time to update.

1. The biggest news...... I'm no longer sleeping on a futon! I've got a new apartment that is literally within spitting distance to work! (Well not really spitting distance but it's a two minute walk) It's pretty awesome I actually feel like I live here and am not just visiting on a long trip. I'm greatful to the Perks who let me stay on his futon, but I really can't tell you guys how nice it is to have your own room, your own sanctuary you can retreat to. I really didn't realize how nice it was until I didn't have one. I also went out and bought a bed. A nice new bed. I don't know if I've ever had a new bed (maybe when i was little but I don't remember shit like that) Thats another thing that you really take for granted until you don't have one, I was thinking about it the other day and I went almost two whole months sleeping on a futon and an air mattress, those are nights that I won't miss.

2. Work- Work has been great. I'm really starting to pick things up and starting to be able to function on my own and stop asking my podmate so many damn questions. (Taylor there's a reason why I voted for you for support member of the month, I'm glad you got it!) Work of course has it's ups and downs, and it's funny how a great day can turn to shit with just one phone call, but I'm learning to deal with those in stride, it's not easy but I'm working on it. I'm excited to say that I'm making friends at work, not just aquaintences but actual friends. People I can call up to go out and grab a beer, or go shredding with and that was one of my major concerns coming up here. Not being from here moving up with only one person that I know was a concern of mine, but everything has been going great so far. We've got our annual christmas party coming up on friday, I've heard nothing but awesome things about it, so I'm excited. I hope I can find something awesomely festive to wear.

3. Everything else- Everything has been pretty great so far, I really can't complain. There are stupid little things that bother me everyonce in a while, but whatever most of it is childish drama, and I moved out of Connecticut to get away from that shit. I refuse to let stupid people and their stupidness bring me down, and they can talk all the shit they want, when you wanna man up and grow a pair of balls to say something to my face just let me know, until then you can fuck off. Whew! That was rather negative but it had to be said. I really haven't had any great adventures as of late, I haven't been going out and partying that much so nothing awesome to report but I've been enjoying myself to say the least.

Things I'm pumped on right now

1. Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson VH1 storytellers album- My god this is one of the best albums I have ever heard. Two amazing musicians live with their guitars, their best songs, and the stories behind them. I encourage all of you to give it a good listen through, I promise you that you'll find at least one song on there you can appreciate. I know my podmates, especially Katie are probably getting sick of me singing along to it, but it's awesome and so am i.

2. Snow- Finally! I mean shit it only took till December 9th for it to actually snow. Last year I rode Killington on November 11th, this year I didn't get to ride Stowe until the 5th of December which was opening day. I would like to add I got the fifth chair on opening day, I would have gotten the first I like to think if I didn't get stuck behind some old lady doing 30 miles an hour at 6:30 in the morning, but whatever, I got to shred some fresh and thats all that counts. Another epic weekend of riding starts Saturday morning at 7:30. I hope to see some of you out there this weekend, riding solo while fun gets boring quick.

3. Life- My quality of life has vastly improved over the past three months. I went from being a miserable prick who hated pretty much every aspect of his life and bitched about it daily to someone who can honestly say they are truly happy. I like my job, I don't mind getting up and going to work. I've got a great new apartment, a pretty cool new roomate, a new bed, a season pass to stowe and some great new people in my life. I really couldn't ask for more. I'm happy! All the negativity is pretty much gone, I've made tremendous strides in becoming a happier person and am greatful for all the opportunities that have been afforded to me so far.

And like usual here are some pictures:

Lebo wearing Grout's pants, all mac'd out

In the clouds

Another sunset on the lake

I live in a van down by the river, I have candy, do you want some? What a creeper...

Opening day at stowe: Wish I took more pics but the batteries died

One of my favorite songs of all time, RIP Johnny.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Get your cheese outta my face!


The difficult thing about having a blog is actually updating it. For instance, it's been like three weeks since I've posted in here, and a ton of awesome shit has gone down, but I've always been like, "Shit man I'm too tired, I'll update this tomorrow" and it sits and sits and sits until finally I can't put it off any longer. So here's a sampling of what the past three weeks of my life has been like.

Jeremy got married. It was pretty awesome.


1. Sick ass hotel room 50 inch flat screens, California King bed (that I had to share with Nixon the night before he got married) wet bar , huge ass couch basically a sweet ass set up.

2. Rehearsal dinner- at some Ale house which was fucking pretty bad ass, Forge and I started pre-gaming before the rehearsal dinner and of course were already pretty drunk when we got there. Then came the opening of the beer menu, and of course Forge comes up with the most brilliant idea of seeing how many of the highest percentage beers we can drink before our reservation for the party room were over. All I really remember is like the last two beers tasting like shit, Forge telling me he drank an "oil rig" which I have no idea what he's talking about, some female lady who is related to Jeremy telling me to go tell her husband what kind of drink she wants at the bar, then licking my ear and slapping my ass when I walked away. Oh I also told Jer's mom's new husband my name was Arthur for some reason, and he called me Artie the entire weekend, which was awesome.

3. Post Rehearsal dinner- back to the hotel where we had Yinglings in a cooler and patron iced in the sink. We all head upstairs and Forge says he'll meet us in my room in about ten mins.... twenty mins go by, I'm drinking a glass full of Patron because Nixon is too drunk to drink the half a glass shot I poured for him and I decide to go knock on Forge's door to see whats goin on..... This dude answers his door in his boxers, like three mins after I knock on the door eyes all glazed over, I ask what he's doing and he's puking lol. Overall a great night for him, more to come on this later. The night basically ended with Nixon and myself sharing my Ginormous bed, reminiscing about the golden days, hopes for the future and things that two dudes can safely talk about while laying in the same bed. (We both had terrible gas, more on that to come later too)

4. Wedding- was awesome, wasn't too long, wasn't too short, I made Jack walk everyone down the isle that I didn't know, which was pretty much the entire crowd. I didn't fuck up walking down the isle, and no one's hair caught on fire. The only thing that really pissed me off about the entire weekend was that the fucking reception was like 30 minutes away, and we had no limo so it was a drive, but I got over it pretty quick and had a great time. Then the after party came, with the hot girl from the wedding party who was completely hammered asked "So are we gonna rock out later or what?"(man you gotta love classy Massachusetts broads) the pissed off look on her face when I told her no, I have to drive three and a half hours back to Burlington tonight was a sight to behold. So I guess to get me back she stole the triple decker coldcut sammich i had just made myself, and mow'd it right in front of me. She even stopped to tell me how good it was, then went as far as letting her friend have a bite and smiling at me. I think that was a wasted opportunity, but whatever she was from Massachusetts.

So I left the small town just outside of Boston who's name escapes me right now at 11:00 pm, which driving at 75 puts me in Burlington at around 2:30. Holy shit man, let me just say this now, if you ever breakdown in Vermont....... well just pray you don't ever break down in Vermont. I literally drove 188 miles before I saw (Yanks just won the pennant, fuck yeah) another car. Thats like seriously 3/4 of the drive before I even saw another fucking car. It gets real lonely driving that late at night, on very little sleep, pretty boring. For like an hour I spoke to myself in Spanish, then I tried to see how high I could count, I think i got up to like four thousand before I asked myself what the fuck I was doing. Blah blah I got home at like 3:00 woke up at 8 went to work. Weekend over.

Fast forward to the next weekend. I get a text from my old roomate asking me when I was coming to move all my shit out of the old apartment, and I decided that I'd just leave after work on Friday drive down, move all my shit out Saturday, drive back Saturday night, go out and drink Saturday night. Everything went according to plan. I left here Friday night around 7:00 and Perks decided to tag along because he wanted to visit the motherland too, the highlight of the drive down was probably when we were in mid conversation and "Sweet Baby James" came on, and I abruptly shushed him, cranked it up and sang along. There is no talking during "Sweet Baby James". I dropped him off at his bro's place and kept it moving to Meriden, where I came home, saw all my old shit and almost had a panic attack. How was I going to move all that shit out of my room, pack it in my car, drive it to Vermont, and actually find a space for it in the closet I have up here. I decided it would be better if I went out and got a beer at good ol' Archies. So I met Urbz and his girl Smash out at the bar, quickly downed a few beers, ate 35 wings and was pumped on the whole time being there until I saw Ashley standing on the other side of the bar. I kept it cool drank a few beers, and was planning on walking over to say hello, and next thing I look over she's walking out. Of course me being drunk I start reminiscing about old times start texting her and yup, make a complete ass out of myself, say some shit I should have kept to myself and yup, basically re-enforce the fact that A. I am still in love with her and B. she is very much not still in love with me. Awesome.

So I wake up early Saturday morning, get a haircut (because my head starting taking the form of a football helmet) and then head home to work on the fucking mess that I liked to call my room. Seriously halfway through it I was considering packing a few things in my car driving away and telling my old roomate to just throw everything away, but I took a few deep breaths and managed to actually pack everything up and make it work. I scooped Matt and we were on our way again. We left the great state of CT at around 7 and made it up here at about 10:30. Not a bad drive, and certainly shorter when you have someone to talk to about ex girlfriends, video games and other random shit. We get up here and I hear Perks' famous last words "I don't want to get blackout drunk tonight" a quote I still laugh at today, which is like two weeks later. Well if we didn't want to get blackout drunk we probably shouldn't have been double fisting beers while we waited for the cab to show up. I don't really remember going downtown, all I know is that I think I ended up giving the cab driver 25 bucks for the 8 dollar ride home. I know I had 25 bucks in my wallet before we left downtown, but fuck it, you can't put a price on getting home safely. We ended up going back into the neighbors apartment, where many interesting things went down, that I didn't even know about because after about ten minutes I decided to come pass out on the futon. I will tell you someone ended up going to the emergency room, and multiple people weren't happy when the woke up Sunday moring. However one of them wasn't me, so HAH suckers.

Fast forward to this past weekend, more fun times. Friday starts off with a work party at some dudes house who I don't know, filled with work people who I don't really know either. Let me just tell everyone this, all the stereo types that everyone has about people in Vermont smoking a ton of weed.....

Yeah they are true. Holy shit man it was like people smoking cigarettes, everyone was smoking, I however opted to drink from the keg, the keg filled with Switchback, which if you've read this blog before you already know how I feel about Switchback. Let me just tell you, I drank wayyyyyyyyyy too much, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too quick, oh did I mention I hadn't eaten anything all do too? Yeah awesome, so by the time the food comes I end up housing like 9 piece of pizza and about 10 of the worst wings I have eaten in Vermont so far. Of course that didn't make my stomach feel any better but fuck it whatever were going out downtown. So we manage to stuff five dudes, yeah five dudes in a fucking Toyota Echo cab (the skinniest guy got shotgun somehow too) I mean you know it's pretty tight when you can feel the dude who's got the window seat two people away from you cell phone vibrates and you think it's yours. Yeah it was that tight. Whatever we get to some bar downtown and it's back to drinking. When I get drunk I get hot, and let me just tell you it was a million fucking degrees in there. I ended up going outside and standing in the rain (beer in hand because I'm fucking smooth) just to stay cool. I even went for a walk to the ATM which was like forever and a day away, managed to get stopped by a police officer who actually laughed at me because I was walking in the rain drinking a coors light, and challenged me to pound the rest of the beer in front of him. Which I did because I was fucking awesome and I managed to make it to the ATM and take out 40 bucks. At this point I was seriously considering calling a cab and riding home solo, going home and and ridding myself of the nasty Switchbacks, the not so bad pizza and the fucking terrible wings, but I decided I'd at least go back to the bar and see what was going in. Well apparently when I got there it was time to go to another bar. So we left and went back to RiRah's which is like my favorite place up here, even though I broke my tooth chewin gum drinkin beers there, but fuck it, only a minor speed bump. (that reminds me the dentist hasn't called me back yet, it's been like a fucking month) Well let me just tell you, I don't go to the bar to dance, I go to the bar to drink beers, that might hurt peoples feelings, but shit get over it. I don't dance. Anyways I go outside because it's fucking stupid hot in there and I don't feel like dancing and let me just tell you, Halarity ensues. I really can't go into details about it but yeah, it was fucking awesome. One of my friends was so fucking drunk he was just shouting, nothing coherent, just shouting and it was pretty funny. He then did a two step in a giant fucking puddle, and then managed to not be able to shut the door for like ten minutes when we finally managed to hail a mini-van cab. We made it back and of course we headed back into the the neighbors apartment like usual, this time no one had to head to the emergency room, but someone did walk back to our apartment with no shoes on, and no jacket. I managed to fall asleep on a sofa that is wayyyyyyyyyyy too small for me to fit on, then I woke up and watched showgirls, which was a fucking terrible movie. Also Jessy Spano has pepperoni nipples, they are gross, and really made me want some Mr. Mikes pizza. Plenty more unspeakable things went down, but yeah lets not mention that, I will say that I did get hit in the side of the face with a hunk of I think it was cheddar cheese, pitched at about 98 miles an hour by a Wild drunken man who had no cares for whether I lost an eye to a rogue hunk of cheese, and it stuck to my face. I seriously had to peel that shit off my cheek. Not fun.

Perks ended up driving back to Ct Saturday morning and I didn't do shit the entire rest of the weekend. I think I stayed up until like 4 am playing fifa soccer lol. Whatever I don't give a fuck, another good weekend in the books. I should be going to sleep because I have to be up in seven hours.

Some pictures

Madelines face is pretty funny looking

The Men of the wedding party

Friday, October 9, 2009

Broken Teeth and Broken Hearts

It's amazing how many of you guys are giving me shit for not updating this more often. You do have to realize that not every single day of my life up here is worthy of writing shit about. That being said, when I do update I will post it on facebook so if want to read it you can. On that note, things are going to have to be on a PG basis, since my mom is now following this blog. So the boob and vagina talk and regular male debauchery is going to have to be at a minimum. (Maybe I'll block her from reading this lol) Also don't hate on my spelling, my overly ambitious use of commas or any other shit that is annoying, no one likes a grammar whore.

Anyways lets see whats been going on.

1. My tooth is still broken, however I went to the dentist. They informed me that I need to have all my wisdom teeth out, then with the broken tooth I have to have a root canal (1000 bucks) and then have the tooth capped (1000 bucks again) and possibly crowned. I have no idea what that means but I bet it's going to be another fucking thousand dollars. When asking the dentist if I could just have it pulled out he gave me some bullshit excuse (his eyes were wide with images of dollar bills) and basically told me no. I've always been a firm believer if something fucks up, replace it, don't rebuild it, destroy it and replace it with something more awesome. Fuck I wish it was a front tooth because I always wanted a gold tooth. Ask my moms about that, she'll tell you I've wanted one since like second grade.

2. Jeremy gets married this weekend. I can't believe it. I can honestly say that he is probably the closest friend I have ever had. We went though our ups and downs, but in the end our friendship persevered. He is getting married to a beautiful girl, who will keep his ass in line and I couldn't be more happy for the both of them. Tomorrow I get to wake up at 8 am on a fucking SATURDAY and drive three hours from Burlington to Boston, yet I'm not even mad because I will be participating in an event that means the world to a person that I truly care about. Since were were kids taking our bicycle helmets off when we got two blocks away from our houses (because i don't care how old you are, bicycle helmets make you look like a fucking dipshit) to drinking beers and eating wings at our favorite dive bar New West. I don't even know if you read this shit, but honestly bro I couldn't be happier for you, I wish you all the best on the new life you are starting.

3. There are plenty other things that need to be updated but I don't feel like thinking about them so I'm going to talk about some other shit.

*edited because this is no longer relevant, don't like it fuck off*

Well how do I follow that shit show up?

With another shit show of course.

So yesterday night a mutual friend of ours little sister paid us a visit. It was clear a night of on the town boozing was going down before she even got here. So I went about my daily routine of work/gym and got in my car and drove home. On the way I was sitting at the light in front of Burlington High School and I almost shit my pants, like seriously came close, not very relevant but I thought I maybe people who have been stuck at a traffic light in similar situations could appreciate it. Well I get in run up the stairs right past Perks and our guest and well, lets just say this is a quiet house, and my first impression more than likely wasn't a good one. As I hobbled down the stairs (more on that to come) I was greeted by a pretty face (not Matt) and then was promptly bitched at for taking so long because we were supposed to be ordering pizza. I declined on the pizza and said I wasn't going out because I was tired, but after our guest told me not to be a baby and come out next thing I knew I was getting dressed. We started off by drinking Longtrails at the house, and I must say, I have found my new favorite beer. To all you guys who buy the same beer when you hit the packy, try something different, try a nice Vermont Ale, something like Magic Hat #9 (made locally here in Burlington) a Longtrail (nice darker beer that has a good flavor to it) or even a Switchback (someone described these as have a nut like flavor, and I refuse to drink one since, but if you like nuts, try it.) you won't be disappointed. Well next thing I know Josh is dropping us off downtown (he had court in the morning, because he's a superstar court dude who solves cases without a sidekick) and the fun began.

The things I remember: No one at RiRah's and our guest ordering a water lol. Going to RJ's and seeing work people who I don't even know shout out the name of our company and high five me (apparently I have more friends up here than I know about) and then Perks taking me to some underground dungeon lair where there were techno kids swinging glowsticks and girls who looked like they were still in highschool, apparently it's one of the two clubs downtown, and I promptly turned tail and got the fuck outta there. Fuck that place it was stupid. Then I remember wanting to go home but not being able to find a cab (I think i was standing in an alleyway at that point) and then having a 20 minute conversation with a bicycle that was chained up to a stop sign, something about liberating it from it's shackles and riding the shit out of it home, but Perks found me before I could commit my first crime in Vermont. (Bike theft is actually happens all the time up here, people ride their bikes everywhere) Then I remember buying a fucking six dollar sausage, which I most def remembered this morning when I woke up and that was the only thing I could taste. This guy really has a racket going on out there at his little cart, nothing smells better when escaping underground dungeons than a six dollar sausage. That shit smelled so good I more than likely would have paid whatever he asked for. And I'm sure I'll get some gay "You love sausage" comments, but really guys c'mon were old enough to see past those jokes.................... well maybe one or two are tolerable.

Lets see, what else......... well theres work. Work is pretty sweet, I was actually on the phones full time today, and nothing says you haven't learned shit in the past two weeks of training than struggling with an client based issue, but fuck man this is pretty fun. Once I get over that huge learning hump, I'm going to be tearing up these tickets on the daily, now I just need to retain the shit I am learning on a per minute basis and I'll be good. It's honestly crazy the work environment up here. People are encouraged to dress casual, which in most places means that oh hey maybe I'll wear a pair of jeans to work today, well here people wear whatever they want, slippers, aprons, t shirts, jeans, sandals, trenchcoats, whatever floats your boat do it. Pretty nice from having to wear a uniform everyday to being able to wear whatever the hell I want. I am so super pumped to have landed this job, and I am going to do my best to become the best that I can at it. It's pretty helpful when the people you work with are all easy going and sarcastic. They'll laugh when you make a mistake, tell you not to sweat it, then ridicule the shit out of you, but in a nice way. It really is an excellent environment, and if you want a new start on things, a fresh start on life I would encourage any and all of you to think about making the move that I did. It's been awesome so far.

So I wrote a lot of shit today, but it's been shit I've thought about a lot lately, and shit that is relevant to my life. So if you are going to complain, bitch or be negative, feel free to jump off a cliff. I have to say Vermont so far has impressed me with it's people, everyone up here seems to skip to a different beat, people go out of their way to hold doors open for you, say please and thank you, people even smile at you in the streets. It's a great place to be and I'm happy to be here. I think it's the first step in the right direction, and it was the answer to the questions I've been asking myself for quite some time. That being said I do miss the few friends I had in CT that I kept close to, I miss my mom, and if you are reading this mom I love you and if I seem annoyed or short with you lately it's just by the time I talk to you at the end of the day I'm mentally shot, so if I have to think about something chances are my brain hurts, but thank you for all the support, I miss you and love you.

Heres a few pictures that will sum up what I wrote down

Long Trial Brewing Co. Get you some!

Burlington, Vermont thats Mount Mansfield in the background, biggest mountain in Vermont, home to Stowe ski resort, where I have my season pass to. Fuck yeah.

Me and Germ, soon to be a married man!

The best of times, Isn't she lovely?

In closing, never take for granted what you have, because you really don't realize what you haven until it's gone. A good friend of mine Murbs once said, "If your life sucks, you suck" that right there should be motivation to make yourself a better life.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Corporate Downsizing


Today I heard a sad story.

A person who I don't know, yet went out and drank a few beers for tonight is getting his job downsized. I don't even remember his name, but I feel bad for this dude. I asked him what he was planning on doing, and he mentioned something about moving to the Yukon or something and delivering milk. I almost chuckled...... until I realized this guy was dead fucking serious. I'm happy for him, I'm sure there is nothing more liberating than delivering a healthy dose of Vitamin D to the locals. I think they use dogsleds up there to get places, so I'm sure it must be pretty fucking cool.

A few more things. (I've had a few beers so if i mis-spell shit don't get all grammar natzi on me ok? Thanks.) So since day one of training the guy who sits ahead of me and myself (it makes sense to me right now so go with it) have watched the gigantic ass spider that sits outside of our window kill everything in sight. We decided that the only fitting name for him would be Killer. Killer kills shit and that's the end of the story. Well last week it rained out, and we noticed there was another spider on the block, which is like twice as big as killer, so naturally we named this one beast. Beast trumps killer. Well after said rainstorm beast was no where to be found, this was like last fucking thursday(why is mozilla telling me thursday is spelled wrong?)or some shit, but Josh was like seriously distrought. Like seriously. Well today the clouds started to form over the DDC and Josh got all googly eyed and excited hoping for a re-appearance of beast. The trainer who was showing us how to do our jobs was going on about something important and all the sudden I get chatted.

Me: "Awesome thats a big bitch, I'm gonna squish it."
Josh: /sadface

Ugh going back and reading that it's not very funny, but it happened today so whatever. Today was the most in-depth day of training yet. It was pretty fucking sweet, I felt kinda at home working the various different programs we'll be using on a daily basis........... Until I decided I'd follow along with the instructor who was handling a real time ticket. He puts the ticket through real time talks about it for a few, and I was like.....

Me: Uh........ dude I think I just duplicated what you were doing.

Trainer: (I'm not gonna use his name right now because I don't know how he'd feel about it so just fucking go with me) Lol, I don't think you can, you are on a demo account, don't worry bout it.

Josh: (who's better than I am right now and that pisses me off) you can't dude I already tried it.

Me: Uh... well it says right here that the process went through.

Trainer: No way lemme check it out.
(a minute goes by and I'm uncomfortable)
Trainer: Well holy shit, it looks like you did do it real time. Isn't that something.
(now it's getting hot in here because I think I fucked up royal)
Trainer: Don't worry bout it I'm sure we can fix it. Lets keep moving.
(wow seriously? I just fucked something up and it's no big deal?)

Ten minutes later trainer goes for a walk and i get this...

Perks: So I heard you are fucking shit up already?
Me: Hah, um what happens in training stays in training?
Perks: lol

Thats how it went, I don't remember much more but I think it was kinda cool how it was no big deal, at my old job people would be jumping down my throat bitching about something that could be fixed and was no big deal, but in CT people love to bitch.

Also today we took a quiz, and how come it's like every single time I don't know the answer to a question I get called on? Seriously this quiz had 14 questions on it and there was one answer I didn't know, and lo and behold, Trainer guy(who i think needs to be named Bicycle Rager because this dude seriously gets gnarly on his mountain bike) call on me for number four. DAMN IT WHY? I hate feeling stupid, and any other of the 13 questions I could have answered correctly but stupid question four.... I hate you. What a mixed day of emotions.

Oh one last note, last night Perks decided to flip the box that the Notorious G E R T sits in upside down. Josh renamed it the Fortress of Gertitude. Which I think is fucking awesome. Mom if you are reading this sorry I swore so much.

Oh yeah peep this

Thats Gert, in her fortress. Don't fuck with her because she hates you.

A few late edits. I had to switch around the brains behind the box flip and the Fort naming, because I had them in reverse order. Also I feel I need to clarify that there are two people named Josh. One is the roomate(why is mozilla telling me this is spelled wrong too? WTF?) and the other is in training with me.

So yeah training Josh and I play pingpong/basketball on our breaks. Today he swept me and made me his bitch in pingpong. I don't even want to discuss the final scores. Two of the games I didn't break the double digits, but I am working on my game as we speak. Brainstorming on how to fend off his angry serves. I did have a 3 second Asian moment today, a scathing backhand return that hit the table so hard and so fast the ball exploded and left a burn mark. Even Josh was like wow dude, that was pretty sweet like a mini firework. I then spent the rest of the game trying to duplicate those three seconds, which I failed miserably. But for three seconds today I was at the top of Mount Fucking Awesome. (A place I frequent.) I am starting to like the taste of LongTrails and Magic Hat #9's, which is sweet because thats all everyone drinks up here. I did however try a Switchback today, which the milkman kindly described as having a nutty flavor......which turned me off right away, who wants a beer that tastes like nuts?

Shit I need to accomplish soon: Go back home and move stuff out of my old apartment, make a dentists appointment, go to Jeremy's wedding in Bahston, pass my test on friday, laundry, buy a new pair of jeans (I am picky like a girl when it comes to jeans) and also ride a unicorn in a wizard hat and cape to work.

I also use wayyyyyyyyyy too many commas, whatever.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Weekend Festivities and Broken Teeth


I must say my first real Saturday in Burlington was a rather interesting one. It all started waking up around 11 and being a bum for a while, which means sitting on the couch watching TV sports until I decided it was time to do some shopping.

Enter Wiliston Walmart..... Now Matt aka Perks(which is what he will be referred to from here on out) says as we shut the doors to my car....

Perks:"Have you ever been to the Waterbury Walmart?"
Me: "Yeah, it's a real shit hole."
Perks: "Hahah, you are in for a treat today my friend."

As I walked through the sliding doors I'm greeted by a Ninja, which Perks later tells me that some sort of refugees have taken root in upper Vermont from their crazy government, but I still like to think they look like Ninjas with their colorful kung-fu looking get ups. About ten more steps in I pass by a woman with a gnarly ass mullet, and i mean like Achy Breaky Heart style mullet, lines shaved into the sides and everything. All kinds of characters in this joint man, everywhere I looked I was greeted by gap tooth smiles and overalls. I really thought I had stepped into a new dimension, yet it seems this is the norm up here.

All right, so onto the shopping. This Walmart has the smallest fucking isles I have ever walked down. Now imagine being confined into these tiny little isles with the rest of Vermont's finest..... Needless to say I decided to call it after about 20 minutes, and ended up getting about half of the items I intended to get. One of those being the new Orbit Mist gum, but we'll get back to that shit in a few.

So we leave and Perks tells me we have to be at Nectar's at 4pm. Little did I know, the bar Nectars serves chicken wings, and when the Yanks play the Socks the wings are free. Yes I said free wings. I mean the only thing better than free wings is 2.00 Vermont drafts. Well guess what, free wings and 2.00 Long Trails, Otter Creeks, and Magic Hat #9's. Man that was an awesome four hours of my life, not to mention that the Yanks won which made the day even better. Well while we were enjoying a few cold ones, and a few hot ones, a friend of ours mentions that there is a small beer pong happening at a basement near us and that we should stop over. So we head home real quick, get fresh and roll out.

Perks and I start first on the table and I'm cold, I can't hit a cup to save my life meanwhile so I tell Perks to let me drink the first three cups the other team makes. Well whattaya know? I drain my next seven shots in a row and the last cup. We go on to take the next three teams out and lose our final game on the last cup, because Perks couldn't hit the broad side of a barn by then. No big deal, we made a name for ourselves and our showing was more than dominant. Well we called a cab around 10:30 and were on our way downtown by 10:45. (Be smart kiddies, don't drink and drive, drink and let someone else drive for you)

Well we arrive downtown Burlington and we head to RiRa's (one of the finer local watering holes mixed with drunk college chicks and weird dudes with cassette players in their pockets jamming out while a live band is playing) and I'm feeling warmed up already so we grab a few beers. Perks gets hit on by a pretty chick, and he just lets her walk away so I try to lecture him on capturing every opportunity and he says shut up don't worry. Well, for some reason I decide that I need to pop in a piece of that new Orbit gum, while drinking beer, god only knows why, but I did. So I'm chewin gum, drinkin beer, chewin gum and all the sudden there is something hard and crunchy in my gum. I'm all like wtf? I spit the gum into my hand and....

Me: "Oh shit, my tooth just broke"
Perks: "Really? Wtf? You cool?"
Josh: "Now thats pretty strange, why are you chewing gum while drinking beer?"
Me: "I dunno, I need another beer though."

Flash forward an hour or so and we've drank our fair share of beers and we decide to meander on into RedSquare. For those of you who aren't from Burlington, RedSquare is where the cool trendy kids go, people in tuxedos and shit, girls in prom dresses and what not, yeah that kinda place. So the crowd sucks, my money is nearing it's end and I'm bored out of my mind. So I decide to walk outside and see whats going on with the general public.... So I walk outside and it's raining, so rather than interact with all the street lurkers, I turn tail to head back inside and the bouncer is like sorry dude, you gotta get back in line. I've got to get back in line? I paid your cover and you wrote a GIGANTIC R on my hand, and now I've got to stand in line to get back in this bitch? Not happening.

So I stumble over to the shish kabab stand because it smelled awesome and had an awning I could stand under. Oh did I mention a hot chick works there? Yeah a hot chick serving meat on a stick, sounds like another win win situation. So we banter back and forth and I swear I'm ordering a taco (yeah I'm a few beers deep now) and all the sudden Perks walks up from behind and is like dude what are you doing? And of course I tell him how I'm getting a taco blah blah blah and he's like man lets get outta here it's raining and it's like 1:30. I agree, but for some reason we went back into RiRa's, I think he had to hit the head or something and thats where the rest of the night is lost. I know we took a cab home, and I know for some reason I have no money left. When both Josh and Matt wake up I question them on the rest of the evening's activities and no one can seem to recall them. A good night indeed.

Back to the tooth. Man this shit sucks. It's razor sharp and is digging into the side of my tongue (wow I thought it was spelled tounge, but firefox is telling me differently) so I decide to mess with it and i manage to break the small jagged part off, relieving a little bit of my pain, but not all of it. Then I somehow remembered I think it was my dad having a broken tooth and filing it down, so I decide that's what I'm going to do. Apparently I'm crazy because both Josh and Perks looked at me sideways, but I decided to just power through it. So now I'm sitting on the couch, with a nail file in my mouth slowly grinding the sharp jagged edge of this tooth down to a smooth stub. Dental kicks in Oct 1st, which can't come soon enough.

All in all an awesome weekend, BluePrint 3 and Only Built for Cuban Links 2 two new cd's I picked up, and man are they sick.

Tell next time suckas, chew on this.